So a little over a week ago, Friday Night October 21st precisely; a day of infamy, someone picked my pocket. The scoundrel Pick Pocketted me. (Is that a word?) Anyway it was a odd experience. How did it happen?
Well i was heading home around 9pm. I had visited the set of a tv show and spent the day watching the cast and crew doing their thing , it was fun, and interesting ,especially watching another Director, Direct while i just sat back and observed. Anyway, the rains came and cut short the shoot . So heading home a lot of traffic had built up, causing congestion and a lot of bus drivers reluctant to head back in that direction. So from the bus station (if you can call Ikeja Under Bridge that) where it would normally take under 5 minutes to get a bus , myself and the growing crowd found ourselves there for close to an hour. Eager to get home before the rains started again or it got too late,so we were getting pretty desperate. Each bus approaching was our potential rescuer from the coming doom. Bus after bus and it was apparent, we were going to be there for a while.
Finish Reading Here
The Prom King and Queen These are honorary titles awarded to students elected in a school-wide vote prior to the prom, and seniors are usually awarded these title
The Valedictorian is a student, typically having the highest academic achievements of the class.
Both are recognitions, one for popularity/likeability, and the other based on academic excellence, hard work and merit , which can be assessed and quantified.
If you go by High School movies, the Valedictorian is usually not really known,and is all about doing the best work, getting the best grades and moving on with their life.
The Prom King and Queen aren’t particularly concerned with that. They just do what is required ,make a passing grade because their life is mostly about dating, partying and having fun.
But what if the School Administration decided to adopt the Prom King method in choosing their Valedictorian? What if merit didn’t matter, and to the Valedictorian had to be cool, and social and someone who would look great on a magazine cover?
What would that say about the school? What image would it portray to the society about the quality of students from that school or its grading system? How would a Valedictorian chosen by that system perform on the job?
What happens when that kid that studies all night and achieves a 3.9 GPA is overlooked by the academic board , while the kid with a 2.0 GPA is celebrated, because he drives a cooler car and looks like a rock star? What message does that send to the other students ?
What if Employee of the month,CEO, Chief of Medicine,Creative Director ,the Pulitzer Prize,the guy managing your retirement account or the Palm D’Or were selected that way?
Society does it’s self a disservice when merit, and hard work is eclipsed by who has the most IG followers or who can get 5,000 Retweets by posting “Woke up like this” .
So i just started driving late last year , strange thing for a man my age, but that’s a story for another day. Having been a passenger in either public transport or a private car, i was usually engrossed in something else or just blanked out through the journey. So, i was not used to many of the road signs , and warnings that surrounded me. So, im on this road, on the way to an edit session, when i see the traffic light saying stop, and so i comply. Next thing i know, i see a LASTMA officer charging towards me, taking a picture of my car. I have no idea what is going on. I stopped didnt i? I didnt run a red light so what is your issue dude? He starts to attempt to enter my car ,along with a police officer. It turns out that to my right, for the lane i was in, a sign said TURN ON RED LIGHT. I had never noticed it before. But this didnt matter. Instead of simply saying, “Oga move, you suppose turn when light dey red”. They acted like they had just caught me with the gun that killed JFK, and demanded i follow them to their office for prosecution. Needless to say, it was not a fun experience.
Was it an innocent mistake, YES, but my ignorance that i was meant to turn on the light didn”t matter. The fact was, there was a sign,and the fact that i handnt seen it, didnt matter to those officers, the consequence of seeing it and ignoring or not seeing it were the same.
A lot of times in life , we dont see the signs that are there.
The husband that doesnt see what his late nights and refusal to talk through matters are doing to his marriage.
The wife that doesnt realize how here off the cuff remarks cut her husband deep.
The boss that constantly threatens his employees and wonders why they are not excited or loyal to the company.
The parent that fails to see that their child is trobuled and needs some help.
Regardless of how innocent our mistake, the consequences remain, and sometimes they’re are very harsh . Sometimes it’s just too late.
After that day, it made me concious to switch to the correct lane on time, i suddenly became aware of other signs and made sure i over complied( no matter who was horning impatiently behind me)
We need to pay attention to the signs in all aspects of our lives.
I own a football jersey. Specifically it’s a Chelsea Football Club jersey. Whenever it wear it people scream random things at me. Either in support of the club , a comment about a match,or mockery about the teams performance. Some feel they have an affinity with me and want to carry on a conversation. The jersey makes see that i am both a Chelsea and Football fan, an ardent one at that, to have a monogrammed , original version.
HOWEVER, i’m NOT a Chelsea fan, I barely watch football, and I could go the rest of my days not caring what happens to Chelsea or any other team in the EPL or any other league. But it’s a nice jersey that’s comfortable to wear. I don’t wear it because i’m a fan, and want to the world to know it. It was a gift, has my name of the back of it, and is convenient to wear depending on the weather. Sure , I may watch a match once in a while, and shoot the breeze about footie, but in the grand scheme, I have no passion for it, and it’s presence or absence makes no difference in my life.
In life there are people with similar jerseys. Jerseys they wear that to others, identifies them with a certain cause, group or belief system.
Jerseys that make people believe a certain thing about them or create certain images and assumptions.
Whether it be people that wear the Jersey of ;
CHRISTIANITY, but it has no impact on who they are, how they live or what they support . When it comes to take a stand for a Christian cause, they either cower and capitulate to what’s socially acceptable,make excuses or justifications to how it is not practical or “realistic” or even go on to mock and belittle the biblical position on the matter.
They have no passion for living true Christianity; sure they have their weekly dose of church, dance, praise and chant “preach preacher” at the pulpit, but come out with no change or desire to become more loyal to the teaching of Christ and the Bible.
FRIENDSHIP, they appear like friends, but won’t hesitate to short change you, embarrass you , steal from you or discard you anytime they don’t get their way.
ROMANCE, they are just there for what they can get from you ; Money, Access to certain people, Sex without commitment, Self Image Boost. But when push comes to shove , they will never be there for you; when you the chips are down, they won’t hesitate to leave you for someone that will advance their cause more.
What kind of Jersey are you, or someone around you wearing? Do you need to take off the jersey and stop confusing people or actually BE what your jersey says you are?
What other Jersey’s do you see people wear?
REEL LIFE- Life lessons from the movies
One of my favourite movies of all time is Back to the Future(1985), in fact, I love the entire trilogy and in my opinion is one of the best trilogies of all time, and because the story comes full circle and everything ties up. For the uninitiated, BTTF is about Marty McFly, a 17 year old whose life is dim and depressing with the only Brightside being his beautiful girlfriend. He has a friendship with Doc Brown, an eccentric inventor whose spent his entire family fortune on inventions that didn’t work , until he makes a time machine out of a DeLorean. Marty goes back in time and accidently stops his parents from meeting, now he has to fix it, without creating any other ripples, or literally be erased off from history.
Aside being a great movie filled with Adventure,Romance,Suspense,Action , great chase sequences, unforgettable dialogue and a magnificent score, BTTF is also very insightful. It has a philosophical side to it, about how the choices we make and the actions we take affect our future. Established in the first movie and tied up in the 3rd, we learn that Marty has a short fuse and his buttons can be easily pushed. Call him a chicken and he’s fixing for a fight. This lack of self-control on Marty’s part led him to make choices which affected not only his future but that of his entire family.From having the potential to become a rock star he ended up a working stiff up to his eyeballs in debt. Ofcourse that was fixed, and in the third film, he had grown as a character and learned not to allow others push his button, and he lived happily ever after.
Now, while this is a fictional character, it does apply to real life. Many of us just do things on impulse, and while that may save from the paralysis of analysis, it does not often take in the consequences that come with certain actions;
A guy sleeps with a girl he doesn’t love,his plan is hit and run, chop and clean mouth,he gets her pregnant, and soon a marriage neither of them planned for is arranged, all because they wanted a few minutes of fun, they go on either feeling trapped and resentful,one of them may eventually leave, and that kid could grow up in a loveless/broken home and be affected for life.
Someone annoys a lady; she slaps the person, damages a coronary nerve and blinds the person, all because of pride(i will show you!, How dare you)!.
A man invests in a business because it involves a big pay off, but also cuts corners and has to be done off the books, business goes pear shaped, he loses the money, which he borrowed, his blood pressure goes up.
A friend points out a bad habit you have , you rant and insult the person and end the friendship, this is the third time, and soon, nobody wants to be around, because it’s like trying to navigate a minefield. You keep your ego, but loose those that really want to see the very best in youand wont sugarcoat the truth.
Life is all about choices, and with each choice come results(+ve) or consequences(-ve). We live with the choices we make , whether it’s a public figure whose promiscuous past comes back to hunt them, and they loose all credibility, loose the career, the respect of their kids and maybe their spouse leaves them. The seeds they planted carelessly or without thought in the past, grow into trees that block the sun from their life.
Ok, I may have gone off topic a little, but the point is, unlike Marty, we don’t have a time machine to go back and repair the mistake of our past, and we wont have one to fix the bad choice we make now. All we have is the present, and we should do the best and the wisest we have with it. Sometimes it’s not a question of if something is wrong or right, but if it’s wise, in light of the future we want to have.
So I finally caught the Angry Birds virus. I haven’t really played video games since someone borrowed my SNES after high school and returned it two years later. So , im flipping through the applications on my phone (go team android) and I come across Angry Birds and I decide to check it out, and I liked it.
I’m getting into the game and try not to let the use of projectiles and arcs take me to the nightmares maths gave me throughout my academic career.
So on Day 3 of the game , I’ve advanced and im finally at that stage where the blasted pigs are covered by every conceivable barrier, like a virgin bride,in castle with sniper, a piranha invested moat , while locked in a biometric time code lock accessible only by her comatose dad.
So I launch one of the birds trying to break through and get to the next stage. It’s getting harder and harder and each attempt just seems to protect them even more. Then I launch one of the little blue birds and realize the projectile is not accurate and I try to recall the bird in mid-flight( Doh, silly, i know). To my surprise the bird split into three, multiplicity!!. I did not know this was a feature. It had increased my odds of going to the next level. Not only had I been limiting myself and progress from using only what I saw, but I had access to functions that were there to help me.
I also limited myself to seeing only part of the screen, launching from one half of the screen hoping it would hit the mark , I didn’t realize till much later that i could expand the screen and see the entire playing field,and actually plan my projectiles better.
In life sometimes we take things or people at face value. We make assumptions that they are all or only what we see,and sometimes draw conclusion that they can’t be of any use, when they could just be the key , the boost, that can make our progress easier. So let’s open our eyes, investigate,be discerning and realize what we have right under our noses
Have you ever been to a restaurant, you arrive and you look at the menu. Depending on the time of the month and your financial status , you look at what they have and then look at what you can afford. You then make your order, somewhat satisfied with the same order you make every time you are there.
When your food arrives you dig and savor the taste which quenches your hunger. And then the waiter brings the food of the person at the next table, the fragrance lifts you off your seat. You look at their food with fascination and then look at yours and get depressed and dis satisfied and you wish you had ordered what he had ordered even if it cost a little more.
Have you ever been on the high street or in the mall. As you pass by a shop, something catches your eye. It’s amazing, so beautiful, you can’t take your eyes off it.
Without a second thought you rush into the shop and put it on your credit card, even though you know you can’t afford it. You take it home and try it on, and absolutely
THE MORNING AFTER
You wake up and see the newly purchased item , and it doesn’t look so good. In fact, you are thinking What on earth was i thinking???. But it’s too late, you have spent the money, and are stuck with something you don’t want.
Ladies will be more familiar with this. Those expensive shoes that are too tight, but look so great, you still buy them, and then a day later they look ugly,tighte than you remember,don’t match anything in your wardrobe and now you have a debt that isn’t worth it.
It’s called Buyer’s Remorse.
Unfortunately, many people take this approach to relationships. They see or meet someone and get all excited. Like the person that rushes into the store without a second thought and put that item on the card, they rush into relationships;relationships that they can not psychologically,emotionally ,financially or spiritually afford in the long run. A relationship they enter based only on attraction or personality but not character.
Unlike the shoes, they may enjoy the sensation for weeks or even months, before remorse of some sort kicks in. They have invested in a person, a relationship, that may have some sort of value, but is more of a burden than they bargained for.
I’m not a relationship expert, far from it.In fact, i’ve been told categorically that because i don’t bounce in and out of relationships every so often, i know nothing and should not talk. So you can discard these analogies, and tell me that
“Love is not a science”.
“It’s not black and white”,
and my personal favourite
“You can’t translate such analogies to real life,things don’t always work out that way”
MAYBE, but one thing i know is, i can vicariously learn from other people’s mistakes and avoid them myself . I’ve seen too many “madly in love” engagements scatter beyond repair within a few minutes, and it had nothing to do with infidelity .I dunno about you, but i bruise like a grape,and I’d rather learn vicariously from those observations than experience it for my self.
Many of those that tend to make those excuses,are caught in vicious cycle.They are in and out of the same type of relationships 2 or 3 times within an 18 months span. They’d rather endure the pain of temporary pleasure they get from those relationships, than the patience of some ALONE time without any form of romantic involvement. A time they take to discover themselves and working on becoming the person that is ready for a better longer lasting and permanent relationship.
For those of you leaving your 20’s and still single. You may feel the need to “go for the next cute person that approaches”, as u feel u are running out of time. Unlike shoes the buyers remorse of relationships is a lot more painful, emotionally, psychologically and in some cases physically.
“Lead your life with your heart, but guide & manage your choices with your head”
No, i’m not talking about the Chris De Burgh song, that one is actually Lady in Red(1986).I’m referring to a minor character from a scene from the 99 hit “pop culture affecting, trendsetter”, movie THE MATRIX. (there’s only one Matrix, the others are Fa(ke)trix,Wa(ck)trix)
There is a scene where Morpheous(Lawrence Fishburne) is guiding Neo(Keanu Reeves) through the rush hour streets in matrix.
He talks as he walks , revealing to him(Neo) the world they are in;how it functions, the dangers ahead. Struggling to keep up Neo is suddenly takes his eyes off Morpheous as he’s distracted by a beautiful woman in a red dress, that walks by with a sweet smile. Morpheous , notices and queries
MORPHEOUS:Were you paying
attention,or were looking at the woman in the red dress
Neospins around to find Agent Smith at point blank range with a Glock
22,the room freezes
It turned out to be a training sequence, just a simulation of The Matrix , the agent wasn’t real,but Neo had learned a vital lesson that day,much like Lot’s wife , when you take your eyes off the goal, very bad things are likely to happen to you.
While this is not an endorsement for the movie,one can take a vital lesson from it. Neo got distracted, by what seemingly looked amazing, (which she actually did). He took his eyes off his leader and if it had been a real situation, that would have been “bye bye Neo”.
No, this not a rant against beautiful women that wear red dresses,lol , this analogy applies both to males and females, we all have our points of temptation,disillusion and distraction. Morpheus also said something very striking in that scene
“If you are not one of us,you are one of them”
the “them” refered to those still plugged into the system of “The Matrix” and could be used by agents at any point in time to bring down the resistance. In spiritual terms , that refers to “children of this world” those that live by the constantly changing declining and fickle philosophy, standards and ideals of a God denying and often God hating world.
They are still plugged into the system of what is culturally or socially acceptable,but against the will of God, whether that be pre marital or casual sex, abortion ,drunkenness, lewd behavior and language, hedonism, cultural “christianity”, alternative lifestyles and other lifestyle to that effect as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 6:9 .
Some people actually think they are unplugged,attend the services, speak the slang, wear the t-shirts, but their lives show no evidence that they are free
“by their fruits you shall know them grapes do not grow on thistles”
They intellectually acknowledge God, but their hearts and consequently their lifestyles are far from any acknowledgment him.
Others have no idea of the system they are trapped in and don’t realize what lies ahead if they stay in this system. Unlike the movie, we aren’t in a simulation, we are in the real world, where “we wrestle not against flesh and blood”, if we get distracted the room won’t freeze to give us a chance recompose and change strategy and keep in mind, the enemy does not take prisoners.
We have to keep our eyes on the Cross , which is our GPS(Sat Nav) in our journey through this world. It’s our obligation to unplug as many friends, family ,colleagues from the system of this world just like we were once unplugged; but we also have to remember that anyone not unplugged posses a danger to our spiritual progression if we get distracted by them.
Many of us would already have had an “i should have known” moment ,at least once or even several times in our life already from distractions we have experienced.
This may be a crush,love interest, relationship, career pursuit or passion for anything else that can take us off tangent; it would vary with each person, we all have to search ourselves using the scripture as a compass and find out,what is our “Lady in the red dress” could possibly be,before sashays into our line of sight.
“The prudent see danger and take refuge,but the simple keep going and suffer for it -PROVERBS 27:12
I am a denominator
the one recurring factor in the
vicious cycle that is my life,….my existence
I am obsessed with romance
I ignore all self control and throw caution to the wind
I enter relationships at the flick of a switch
driven by my hormones
i date whoever fires off my “feel good” neurones
regardless of if they lack character or respect me
I consider caring friendships that support me least priority
as they can never fulfil my romance fix
i jump in with my eyes closed and never test the water
and leap out scalded , because i never saw the fangs
showing as the lips peeled back behind that charming smile
and then i do it all over again because
well….all that affection ,care attention and support
from the sweet and nice person
still does not make my heart skip a beat
the way that charming devil, key word devil, does
Im lovely, why can’t i find a loving relationship?
I am an attention junkie
I move from person to person
and get attention from wherever i can
i barely pay attention during a conversation if its not about me
I prattle on all about ME ME ME
and check myself out in anything that reflects
i compose songs about myself and sing it to everyone that has ears
I am an emotional leach and i suck as much attention
that i can from you and move on to get a better fix elsewhere
By the way, why don’t you call me anymore?
I am like a tiger on the prowl
waiting to pounce and maul you
immediately you say something that offends me
i am berserker , I’ll tear you to ribbons
if you dare speak to me in any such manner that displeases me
my amnesia for all the wonderful things you said and done
kicks in the moment that you criticise me
i am meticulous about what i condone
and i will not be spoken to, by you or any other
in a manner that i only know, and deem worthy
you are expendable and i can do without you
….Hey ! where have all my friends gone?
I hate conflict and try my best not to rock the boat
I do my best not to offend anyone
and say yes and nod in agreement just to keep the peace
I approach everything in an understanding manner
and try to be as diplomatic as possible
i pay attention and hold my tongue when i should object
because i just don’t have the strength to debate about it
though it may be an issue that need to be addressed
I exercise patience even though you abuse that fact
every single chance that you get with no apology
I am easy to bully, all you have to do is
loose your temper, turn on the water works,
and i apologise even when i’m not in the wrong
Then why like Jabber Jaw, do i get no respect
from those i show nothing but respect?
I love adventure
I am down for whatever and up for anything
I love living for the moment and don’t care for consequences
Whatever is the flava of the moment count me in
life is too short to think about the long term
we might not be here tomorrow so seize the day
if it feels good, just do it
i have all forms of myopia,
my hedonistic desires blur the consequences
of my instant gratification needs
I’m fun, I’m exciting , I’m full of life
Then why is everyone else moving forward
and in meaningful relationships except me?
I have a list of everything that you must be
You are to fufill all my need and desires
as i lean back and make no effort to improve myself
you have to maintain me and be pleasing in my eyes
I verbally strip you down because i have to keep you in check
I show no appreciation, because you already know
Read my mind, you know what i don’t like
Change, Think, Keep that, Stop saying that
it’s just who i am , and i like it that way
Wait , where are you going , Are you leaving me??
I am the Denominator
(C)OLU YOMI OSOSANYA